M fr maldives

10 months,5 days,15 hours,13 minits,45 seconds and time is still running as we speak.

This is how far we have come. but i feel like only yesterday we got together, bonded by this invisible seal.a promise to love,cherish and appreciate each other. for how long? well, they didn't say. but it doesn't matter. They never said it was gonna be easy either, but with you it's somewhat smooth sailing. a touch still makes my heart skip a beat; a kiss still makes the hairs on the back of my neck rise. to be surrounded in your arms makes me feel safe. and i can still laugh like you are my best friend.you are my best friend. i've always wanted that. since getting a best friend to be your boyfriend is somewhat a bad idea apparently.and i still find myself wanting to spoil you.with love.i want to look at you.and watch you sleep.and dream.and hope the reason your smiling is because your dreaming of me. i want to wake you from the nightmares you have.and assure you i'm right here.i'm going next year.where? i don't know. i just hope things dont change.i need this.this has taught me alot of things.has brought me back down to earth.we have grown.thank you sayang. i love you . and i say it with all my heart.(:

Finally;

i get a chance to update.

let's see.theres

prom. it's nothing to brag about but yeah i got to shake my thang. *clap clap*

spade party. *i didn't enjojy it*

and umm the occasional going out with bf.

christmas lunch at nevins.

going to sleep at najwas.

missing all my friends.

apparently i am to work with mama at her new school in jan '10

i am not excited about next year.

i feel that what i pictured of after spm is so much better than reality right now.

i hate the fact that my problem is transportation on a lot of things.

i can't believe that i think shah alam is not cool anymore. *just because of the fact
that i find difficulty getting a job*.

i miss my friends at du and bj

i feel like im wasting my chance of shopping because i dont have money to. which results back to me being agitated not having a job.

i feel like im gaining weight. *oihh*

oh oh,i cut my hair.ahahaahah! lama gila dah actually.>.<

run the show

This feeling of euphoria that bubbles from within you like a boiling pot is inevitable when you have just crossed the finishing line of high school; leaving everything behind except bittersweet memories - From the first few baby steps to the first day of primary and finally the ending of high school.

And now that you've finished the race, it's actually more of reality checking you from behind rather than a pat on the back congratulating your victory of finishing school. It's no more fun and games. We are growing so fast we don't even realise what's coming at us whether or not we are prepared to face the consequences of our actions of the things we did or did not do without thinking. But all set aside, the years of schooling have taught me a few lessons in life;



Although there are incidents you may regret in life,they become much more appreciated after you realise they were lessons to be learned in disguise.

Reading is very important, literally, in shaping our lives. it is far more than just for education purposes.

Happiness is not about being perfect, it's about seeing beyond one's flaws

Prom is very much overrated

It isn't love the first time. But the first time teaches you how to.

Being gullible is not cute anymore

Only few appreciate what they have before its gone. Be you one of them.

is there something wrong when i say i'm not feeling inspired?

and then some...

its funny why i am so relaxed even when there's still spm going on.............:O
omg!

ahahah! geez,you'd be surprised the repeated nudges that i have to do to myself to make me realise i NEED to panic.

well maths was the only one i feel very good about. agama 1 was a doozy but agama 2 was okay. now whats left is accounts, science, arts and pdggn. i want to score 3 of those. so wish me luck and pray for me okay/ :*

i cant wait to finish next tuesday. 9th dec and i am freee.:DDDDDDD


i need to make sure its worth it. i want to work and buy stuffs. hehe.

loves.

bm english settle, sejarah nyawa2 ikan kot.;/

these waves. unpredictable. the emotions are swirling, twirling amidst this current of predicament.i feel a burden pulling down on my chest like weights and yet all i hear is silence amidst darkness which surrounds me.

tooot toott

striding along the road to the enemy lines.
or so it seems.. Tomorrow morning i'm going to "battle" with a second-hand shield which i'm hoping that it will save me.just this two gruelling days. I send out a thousand apologies to everybody that i don't have enough credit to wish you all and ask for your forgiveness but i hope this little message passes through:
my apologies fr if i have hurt anybody it was unintentional. my prayers be to all spm students and may God be with you all. wish me luck.

loves to edi,kal,arie and nev.

this feeling tugging my heart

hello everyone...i'm going to move house..again. i don't want to explain why. but this couldnt come at a worse time.this was supposed to be my 'intensive study month thing' month..i dont know how im going to handle this.but i will try my best to help when i can because mama isn't exactly young.and God knows i don't want anything to happen to her....gotta study..suddenly lost the adrenaline rush to bury myself in piles of books but am trying to follow this new timetable i did. much love...

you are beautiful,baby.

a beautiful discovery. Its what i think of you.you give so much yet there are still things you say that melts my heart.layer after layer i find you to be different than what you show outside to the world. My love.... i feel so grateful to be the person who knows you this way. i find myself to be surprised by my own.When i've already had you for so long.even before we got together.Now,you've become the pillow i hold onto for comfort, the favourite song i listen to ,the voice, the touch i need everyday. Its insane, unexplainable, unbearable, mildly torturous at times.i become.. internally and externally addicted..was...still. And i don't think i want to stop it right now. Nobody can see you the way i see you now. And i find self pleasure in that. in this little world i build up inside my head. a sanctuary, home to my feelings of you and i.of this beautiful discovery i found on my own.that came to me and never stopped giving up to be seen, to be heard. Time couldn't change it. I couldn't change it. I'm glad that it didn't. or i would've lost the opportunity of a lifetime to feel this happy.to feel like the most precious thing in the world.to feel this loved. to feel this full.this complete. i pray i don't stop loving you zunaidi alias.:)

Of frustration and sacrifices

the whispers of the heart is difficult to ignore. though small, they mean bigger than they really are in your mind. Negativity pushed aside, i will strive to give whatever i can. For my family,friends and for edi.study? yes. make sure i dont write another post so soon okay. And of the others? Well,im just gonna ignore that for now.. Because they wont help me for spm. I really dont want to regret.

Countdown starts........ now.

To the beloved;

They say the things that inspire you are usually significant to mind. I find myself smiling silently.
It's truly ironic how i used to push you away so much and now i'm asking for more. There's so many things i miss and i imagined if i was ever to say 'no' instead of 'yes' on the 21st of february 2009.
I find so much pride in being the person who makes you smile that warm smile, laugh that silly laugh and cry those tears of joy. I'm grateful to be given the best privillege of being sheltered by your arms. My sanctuary, my place of hope and comfort. And to be smothered by kisses that calms my insecurities. I am grateful; to be given such attention i know others don't get. And the most i find pride in is to be that girl by your side through thick and thin,through tears and laughter, to be that girl you want to depend certain things on and to be spoiled senseless by. Because i want you to.As i do.

Your voice is something i crave for each night to demolish all my fears before i sleep and warm my heart like the sun rays when i wake the next morning. There are so many things you are willing to sacrifice selflessly which i am well aware of and i love yo so much for that. I truly am a lucky girl to have you as mine and my own.

And i cannot wait for the smile to spread o your lips when i get to see you each day to tell you that in fron of your face.:)


Yours truly,
:D

its been awhile;

what has happened recently?

1. a teeny weeny small mini open hse which i am sad to say i couldnt invite all my friends.cause i was collaborating with omar the furball.
2. umm,last minute drop out frm kawat because dad tak bagi. good luck to the cadets tmrw on performing with guns. salute!
3. i miss alot of people...again. -kal,veron,iyzie,nelly,Arie,Abg zaim,Tj.
4. Sent Abang zaim back to the airport. miss him loads.:( till march abang!
5. Kakak Akmar's stomach is expanding and expanding more at 3 months + . Will probably pop out somewhere around March. i hope my niece/ nephew wont be a naughty brat like his father.;O bahaha.........(no seriously, though).
6. i'm getting trials results.....i dont like them.
7. school is not exactly functioning its purpose.but i am still required to come in the mean time.
8. months with Edi this 21st. such an achievement.He's good at multi tasking his responsibilities as a friend and boyfriend. Love you Sayang.<3
9. Nothing is impossible...

17 candles...... whoop de dhoo..

selamat hari raya maaf zahir & batin to any of you who are actually reading. I'm posting this from kajang, cousin's house.Amidst colourful clothes and assorted cookies, amidst families and friends colliding, i feel an emptiness in the darkest corners of my heart. A feeling i tried to push to the back of my head last night. 1st day of raya, and papa didnt celebrate with us... syukur alhamdulilah, i got to kiss his hands and beraya with him that morning though. but the sad part was, that he forgot my birthday. he did.and mom had to give him a hint.i feel like going out tonight.both my birthday and raya wasn't exactly how i imagined it would be...abruptly, i feel...alone.

something i missed;

was an event my brother and DSP did.(damn syok! productions)

it was their premier of their movie;

Retributions

yes,so i was surprised of the changes they made last minute. but

it was something to be proud of no doubt. they did their premier at e @ curve.

after the preview, we all went to eat/ shisha at alsafa.

hehe,thts when a quarter of my cousins. and my siblings saw edi.

it was awkward+funny.

but the conclusion was tht omar had a talk with me.

yes that,awkward 'come-here-and-sit-down-with-abang' talk,

the results?

i know i know...he still loves me.

its the brother syndrome.:D

done?

it feels so stressful for some reason but im not done just yet.this battle i have to go through is stretching till the end of the year and unfortunately fr me the worse is yet to come.crappity crap crap.theres no other way but forward now.

so yeah, prdggn to be postponed till school reopens.sudden change is not because of school's odd attitude of being fickel but to avoid parents chasing after them. With that,finishes my first ever spm trials. urgh...it wasnt a great ending mind you. my maths 1 was smooth sailing. with fan wind blowing frm on top, i did it was calm. But then i knew it was just tooo good to be true. damn frustrating. Why didn't jps do for both our maths papers? nooooo, du wanted to do their own complex, mind-grinding set of paper.and it had to be for paper 2. the one i've been trying to score.urgh.... BARGHHWDFHWIODHIOWHDIOWHDOIWH! frustrationnn!!! dei. =.=

haih,*exhales*, im in dire need of icecream tiptop and boyfriend.got nyet nyet from him fr awhile.but yeah well...:/ sayaang you ! :**

Stressism

headache; day by day.im wondering if its the toxicity in my body or if its exam.i have a feeling its both.i still feel im not tryi9ng hard enough.haih...i got maths and then pdggn then habis.cikgu nak jugak buat lagi satu set exam if not i dah cuti thursday.hmm.i doubg im going to get to shop this year fr raya but at least i got baju kurung's done.white cream baju kurung moden and pink baju kebaya.:D the white cream looks fancy but wtheck. tmrw i tak pg sekolah.thank god.wed maths.so wish me luck lovers. cant wait fr all of this to end.:))

Samaritan

its been awhile lovers, i know.its the exam..they're not giving me a chance to update.its hard to say what the outcome will be but what im sure is that sej confirm fail.;/ sooo,what happened recently? mmm..exam exam books and more books.fishsticks. besides that.though, i know the date is well known for a tragic one but just now,around 840 p.m i saw something quite the opposite. in fact, though it was ironic i was very much touched.i saw a shred of humanity.we were at shell,renting a few cds at ezy,and i saw a kitty lying,almost as if he looked like he got hit. poor thing. but then i saw the chinese man who parked there bought milk.and another person bought cat food to feed it.it brought a few crowds and i'm proud. even though i can't deny i see that there is racial tension nowadays and i feel it around me sometimes too, but i found myself, warm and good when i saw him do that.There is still goodness here.We shouldn't encourage whats happening right now even though 1 Malaysia sounds pretty ridiculous at this point.i just hope history does not repeat itself.im out.gonna go watch movie. today is relax day. oh, and i love edi.so much.i love you nanna,10 days more!:D

today

i had my buka with edi and his friends consisting of zarul bariga ary and russel. it was....nice.:p
...im having difficulties on doing proper studying this puasa.cant seem to focus.trying to change the timing to study also isnt working.having some problems.but it is being pushed aside.its none of my concern now.sleepy like no one busineess.....nak tido la.heh.loves.:/

Afternoon ride home by Abdul Hamid Zainal Azim

Fathers...mine just happens to be a mysterious one.at least to me. I find myself respecting,loving,and curious of him all at the same time sometimes. and today i found out something new about him.

My father questioned about my boyfriend. yes, finally they know about edi.after a while at least.:) a looooong while. and i got to know we are somehow connected. in business matters. and i had a talk.in the car.this time with Papa.it was really nice. i asked something i've been wanting to ask after such a long time. A question needed answering. And it occured to me.i learn the most important lessons; in a car, often with the people i love and respect the most.

I realised that we shouldn't envy others of their posessions and privilleges. Instead, cherish what you have in the palm of your hand. Because they can and usually is, the best thing in your life at that very moment. because they are there with you. If only we could realise it. Sincerity truly goes a long way.

(1 minute later)

Okay...so i did check it out. Yes, it took me that fast to go through. No, you don't want to know how many questions i skipped and yes i'm aware of the marks i'm about to lose.. Crap..haha, ia sudden vision of merdeka eve just popped in my head. When Edi said, "Don't crab with me" . HAHAHAH! Bongok la you byy! x) hehe,i miss him.Amidst all the playing and all the stupidity that we do together, the choking and punching and the quick hugging affection later after that, i still do love him as much as i did when i said i love you to him for the very first time.Even more now,perhaps. He's so annoying, i'm smiling right now. The others would probably think i'm retarded right now. Hoho, abit la.but kal still loves me for that.RIGHT BY?!:D geehe, Oh oh, and i got my present from Nunu najwa already. Auntie Jani gave me my fav perfume.and najwa got me a jeans vest! FINALLY i got one! yay!:D so thts pretty much it.Zikri is being a freaking annoying bomoh/ terrorist islam beside me.-.- so yeah gtg, serious now.LOVES! :D

Sejarah 2 ; 1010-1240

A rythmic tapping pattern,continuous and dull as the rain falls ever so quickly and splashes on to the ground like it was bound to be doomed. This tuesday morning was cool and chilly as my fingers start to numb. Oh great, they decided to increase the speed of the fan now. THANKS BRENDON. =.= Don't they love their classmate who just so happens to be seated under the fan?? Sigh, a mental not to self: Bring a jacket in case of bad weather. I struggled as i tried desperately to warm my hands and legs.If i'd known better, i wouldn't wear the pinnafore today. I know i know,i should be writing away during my sejarah 2 paper instead of writing here in a piece of test paper with doodles and oodles but i just can't help it.Reading seems to be something so easy for me but when it comes to sejarah , this ability i have becomes somewhat disfunctional.Brilliant, my hands are starting to have red spots as well. O, did i forget to mention my body is sensitive to cold? well, not normal cold. as in 'cold-that-my-nails-are-turning-purple' cold. I don't know why, but its like that. My body can be a tangy bit abnormal but i'm obliged to love it anyway. Which i do, of course.:D Hmm,to think about it, i've realised how much reading is so essential to one's life.Literally,seriously.It's an annoying fact that eats up at me everytime i'm at my study table.And it saddens me when the government does try to help.Its just us teenagers. But of course other reading materials like comics and magazines and trashy romance novels are an exception. Its just school books we can't stand.;p Dammit, the other smarter smarty pants's are scribbling away. Siti's got like up to 2 pages back and front. I got to check out the paper again. Till then lovers,

hurricane? tornado? or maybe just a lil glitch

hmm..had gastric today.couldnt finish my puasa.had bestfriend to come by to study.studied studied.currently literally the maid of the hse.bt i guess i should start being "responsible". should be studying some more.havent had the mood since this evening though..having a bit of a turbulence nowadays.but hoping it will end soon.missing bf alot....later.

Fine fine, *cheh padahal mmg nak post pon.:p

If you're wondering about the title of this post its sent out to someone living in damansara indah..(i think) .xO haha,omg,crap i went your house for tuition still also i cant remember.but im sure its tht.:D anyway,hello my baby earthlings! :DD hope everythings fine and dandy.cause i certainly am.;D welllll.....i'll give you something that has been making me smile since last friday though..it was my anniversary! for 6 friggin months! like whoaaaaaaa...O: mcm arie kata : omg omg omg omg.hahahahha! =.= soo yeah.mcm...agak cool la.to count the amount of fights we have compared to others before is like.....1....kot.haha...so yeah,applause for you bee.clap clap.:) other than that,yes i am aware of the holidays.whoop de dhoo dhad.but to be the party pooper of all form 5's in smkdu now is the first trials of spm.it started two days ago on thursday and will have its continuation after cuti.so unfortunately this holiday will be used up to study till my brain melts, hopefully. we also having fasting month right now.so to the brothers and sisters out there;selamat berpuasa dan berbuka puasa.;)) speaking of which,i learned a new old kuih yesterday with mama.the famous badak berendam.haha. i used to call it badak berdendam.muahahaha.umm...oh oh.and i finally got the piano notes for The song.so i can learn it and play it and its gonna sound so nice,:D*brendon shuddup dont say it out loud and dont make the face like it was kacang for you*. haha. so yeah.thats it..and umm.i should be praying for subuh.oh and call my bf.:) i'll update when i can lovers.rogerandout.

ass pee am anyone?

yes i'm aware my blog is dusty.but i couldnt help much.the internet is acting on its own mood nowadays it pisses the crap out of me.thank god today its in a better mood.:) sadly i am here to inform to you that i will be away for these few months.yes ladies and gentlemen.i feel it is time i think and act rationally.taking the precautional steps probably the other smarter students have taken earlier.though i must say this will be utmostly difficult.but i must part away from the computer for my own good. i'll try my best NOT to online.:/ i'll probably give a few updates if possible though.:p but yes.the fact still remains that i was scared by the timetable given to me this morning.i received the spm trials timetable and im scared i might be too late.sooo..yeah.. though theres alot on my mind,i must push it aside. i miss these individuals very very much.and i hope i'll get in contact with them when i can.

0.zunaidi alias

1. azharie azhar
2. iyzie jamaludin
3. nevin francis
4. kalsom alias
5. benjamin andrew micheal

journalisme

i find myself in utter confusion
as i am now standing in between crossroads
these bright lit futures' are getting me disoriented
for i fear of being dissillusioned on the way down the road
my thoughts are dispersing
because i have yet to learn the true meaning of the steps i'm about to take
and where they will lead me to
i don't mean to sound disprited
i'm just desperately trying to grasp and see the rational answer to my question
but for now the observer is being observed
for which she is highly expected to succeed in flying colours
and no regrets in her heart.

Happy birthday edi.

i fall in love
day in and day out
each day i breathe you in like the fresh air
essential to my heart
you are
whatever it is that's missing
you are the completion to a happy day and the hands i hold on to through the bad
i see my heart opening in everything you say and do
that's when i find that i love you

and you make 5 months feel like a walk in the park
and you make me look forward to more months to come.
thank you for letting myself still be me.. and better than that.

study me.

this phenomenon that's occuring. this feeling that is slowly becoming an epidemic these past few days is not something she is so fond about.worry.maybe a pinch of annoyance.a handful of frustration and a grimace usually painted on her face. but she finds herself trying her best to be patient.to melt herself like wax and mold into things that she tries her best to adapt.like a lesson to be taught.it is a lesson to be taught.again and again.to control the situation if you'd like to say so yourself.i will call this a test,which she will humbly accept and comply like any other that pushes her bit by bit to the wall.But she still appreciates the best things in life,that's why she's still standing.

amidst smoke fumes and traffic jams

have i mentioned how much i love my family? through mistakes they make and life they go through with me they teach me so many things.they are not perfect but most of the time they try their best to be,to show me not to repeat the same mistakes..:) i have always loved to be stuck in traffic with mum/dad when we're on the way back home.it's sort of a parent/daughter time for me.this afternoon, in the car on the way back from ttdi,mama and I talked about friendship.yeah.She,whom i have always looked up to as my role model and i have always found her to be wise,she talked to me about true friends.but there was the one thing she said, i cant get it out of my head. and i quote, "True friends are usually close friends but close friends aren't always true friends".it left me thinking.something to ponder about.:)

reception+akad nikah

okay...i'd love to add more,but i dah tatahan.and tuition is gonna start in about 10 mins.heh.loves!

Today I,.....

1. i had the privillege of having sunway university to come and give a talk...about hospitality and tourism though.but whatever,it was cool anyway.there was a guy named daniel showing us how to flip stuff like the bartenders do.had a free cupcake too.
2. other than that,got the opportunity to ask Ya to explain about accounts.im still quite clueless though.but will reread i promise.:)
3. oh and i've started to ganti puasa already.agak lambat yes i know.but im rushing.dint get to puasa today mama dint let but will puasa tomorrow,:D

SMKBJ,SHAH ALAM: BAND AUDITION FR PROM!

yes,as you can see,this is an indirect invite from a direct friend who's dealing with this thing.any bands that are interested can contact me or with that chat thingy thingy,and i'll direct you to Shira.a really pretty girl.haha.*not for my bf unfortunately.you're mine,shut up.:-D
anywayy, its on the:
- 18th of july, Saturday
-at akakarya,uptown
-fee is rm 20
-date of prom? you will have to enquire with shira later on.:s

so yeahhh,spread it around okayy.need more bands in this jig.love you guys! <3

Oh,come on Bee

Yesterday was bla bla blated.omar had his shoot at our place.so helped abit here and there.got abit lost trying to find subang perdana.and then tuition was frm 11 till 3.and then night fell upon us and stars appeared one by one in the sky.As i excitedly showered last night and got ready,i started to get sleepy but as soon as those black tip high heels stepped on the ground i was soo friggin excited forrr.......

THIS!

YEAY I FINALLY WATCHED IT!

MUAHAHHAHAHA!

:D

i know i know i was a lil late..but i watched it anway.shia and megan was soo hot.:Q and they were like all manja manja and i was like.....byyyy! :( hehe.but yeah.i was abit surprised la.its definitely different.new characters and alot of explosive stuff.:) and i swear i was sooo jealous of megan.she was soo fine.O: so im gonna try jogging more often and study more too.:/

SO MUCH LOVE! :DD

4 months.

this was what i wanted to say to you over the phone yesterday but i was too tired sayang.i love you.:)

My love,
he cares without conditions
protects with all his might
and cherishes every memory

My love,
he has standards, ambitions
he is perfect in his imperfections
that only shows he is human
and he loves me with all his heart

My love, I see your efforts of keeping me safe
safe in your arms and safe in your heart

My love, i acknowledge you as you have made your mark
you've succeeded in stealing and making my heart better than anybody else could

Soaked in extacy of your love, a drug i don't mind getting intoxicated by

I want , need , crave for your hands in mine

for your smile to spread on your face
for your arms to wrap around me, and
for you to tell me
how much you love me;tenderly

twenty friggin seconds was what we got

good morning malaysia! =.= its a monday and no i did not go to school today.i came back so tired and all warm and stuff yesterday i got sick the next morning.:/

anyway heres what happened;

yesterday, i woke up at 630 in the morning.took my shower and tralalalala and then picked kevin chuah up at his house at tropicana; one of my teammates. we had 4 students in a school team which consists of two form 4's (kevin chuah, tengku anisah) and two form 5's ( me :D , tan justwin) so then.picked up kevin,otw to school beli nst paper just to brush up on our vocabularies since we would be one of the earliest at school.and then.waited for the other two girls to arrive and we were off exactly at 8.02 a.m . i was already nervous since the other two girls only slept at 1. and i was the one telling them to chill out the whole week and that 'we'll-try-our-best' jig.=.= in the car i was like shitttt! its today.OOO: hahahah.so dah sampai.sunway piramid baru nak bukak.so gelap.but the stage was right below starbucks.the entrance.and it was all nice and dandy.so we saw students scattered everywhere and then there was the briefing.the presenter was nice and all and then she bla bla blated.

and then POM! the competition started.the first batch, i still remember.that chinese dude.he was wearing glasses and looked all smart and stuff.he was wearing white pants and a dark blue blazer! i mean, come on,thats pretty darn smart.:p it would be nice if smkdu tukar colour seluar for the boys.:D anyway,he dint just look smart he IS smart.he spelled everything correct and he got into the finals. then other people went through batch after batch .it was starting to get boring. i was starting to get sleepy and justwin and anisah was checking out a hot guy a row behind us.they were so obvious that guy perasan and he got all shy and stuff.haha.x) and then met shar and mek.and then she took pictures.we had lunch.i was still studying.and then it was our turn.i was like omg omg omg omg! and my name was the first in the batch!!!!xO i mcm ohh noooo.and then went up.i had to go spell.

FIRST ROUND: the first word fr me was glutinous.and then second person was anisah.she dint get her word.poor thing.she worked so hard.but its okay.she got next year.:D and then kevin.he dint get his either.but its okay.he got a cert.and then justwin got it! i was like yeaayyyy!! got gang.:D

SECOND ROUND: i spelled correctly.i think it was satyr. and then evrybody else kena turun except for me and justwin! i was like yeayyy again!

THIRD ROUND: i spelled correctly,justwin dint get her word.and i got into finals. soo yeah.and then was studying summore.

FINALS: was DIFFICULT. :((( it was around 4 something i think.and then we all went up.and we had 3 words to spell.person with the most points becomes the winner.unfortunately i dint win.:( that smart looking chinese dude got it.he got ALL correct.and those words were HARD. the last word i had to spell was presidium.but i spelled it with a 'c' instead of 's'. :((

but we got certs and a goodie bag anyway.so i guess its okay.in the whole it was a tiring but fun day.balik rumah pening kepala gila gila.makan cereal,mandi,suruh mama urut,and then tidur.now..im still having headache.demam macam nak datang balik.but selsema and batuk dah tak ada.


love you.:D

my mind is tumulting again

disturbing? yes. it is.its stressful how all these voices in my head can take control my mind nowadays.tomorrow is the competition.must practice..much love.

hello havoc

guys,school is back.so if i am still blogging constantly then that means i'm not doing what i'm supposed to be doing.work is a done deal.hopefully abg philly wont forget to take my cheque this friday.also hoping i'd get to bank it in before 1.other than that,there is also big news. i never thought i'd get in cause we were so late.and it was so last minute.so i didnt prepare but yes my team got accepted for the spell-it-right challenge for this sunday.at sunway.i am sooo friggin nervous i swear.its so sudden.and i think its live.and i've never done it before i'm panickingg!!!:/ omg om gom gom gom gomg....i've never done it before...!!!!O: haishhoihoih.and i pretty much have to take charge of all this stuff.thank god justwin gonna be my winglady.( :p ) hoh.imdihwidhowihdowdw! nyaaah...and umm..i got results.but will wait for more.love youuu.<3

temp

yes. i'm working for awhile.i know i know, i should be studying and squeezing my brains out but this is just for awhile.i need to get something special.:) anyway.yesterday was a whole day doing off pay slips.god.it was long due but alhamdulillah got to finish it before they ask for it.:D today? filing in the freezer room.i got my shoulder injured terlanggar that besi cupboard thingy and was lifting heavy inactive file filled boxes and got to knpw i could just put those in another yellow file.uighsioudowufhbowuih! and i swear i peed more times than i did yesterday.i feel a lil nervous today i dont know why.will be dropping off at ou again today.need to give deposit.hoping the amount will budge. anyway.should go.almost going to be 1.must be a robot again.=.= toodles~



love,
farawr

i dont mean to feel intimidated. i dont mind change of course because change is inevitable. i just don't want to lose you..then why would i call you my bestfriend right? But it is on your hands.your decision to make whether or not you want to pull me back in.because that's how i feel right now.left out.and i know that i've done my part on putting effort.at least a bit.the dissapointment when i've reminded you so many times, i've booked you so long ago.but you've been forgiven already.i just won't forget.

Treedaze

I love this picture of him. As though our love makes him feel utter freedom, utter bliss; as our harmonic melodious memories takes away all the pain and heartache away.Like the wind, i'll caress his smoothly features. I love every part of him. All of him, literally.From the perfectly structured wings on his back to his every emotional flaw.For which i will fill and complete and perfect it. Like a masterpiece, we will hold each other. He will be my frame and i will be his picture. I will be the breeze that blows ever so softly on his face and he will be the moon that watches over me at night.The feeling that i feel when he calls out to me makes my heart overflow with pride.At this point, i do not care of our differences because i'm determined we will make each other better. It's the feeling when you feel that you've been with this individual for a very long time and yet you still get nervous when you two meet.When he can still give me butterflies in my stomach with just one look.One look that shows so many emotions you know exactly what it means.I know i have love in my life because i have you in my life. I know we are still from different worlds but i don't feel it when i'm with you.All i feel is this excessive amount of adoration that i do not find in anybody else that used to care for my heart.Your love is put on a pedestal for i am truly in love with you. Typing this itself makes my heart ache.I miss his presence even when he is present. I am so used to him like a person used to his own shadow.I am assured now that he will be here for quite a while. I'll try my best to be better than the best. better than the rest.(:

What happened recently? part 2

Saturday a.k.a 30/5/09

Akad Nikah Kak Akmar & Abg Luqman

Today was busy with so many people taking turns with the toilet

and trying to find their scarfs and stuff.

we arrived a lil bit later than the groom

and then it happened...

We had the privillege of having Apryl Chen come down all the way from melbourne

to witness these two love birds marry.:)

After that we had a few drinks.

i had a picture with the bridesmaid, Yasmin and the elder sister; Halimah.

That night,we had the reception on the bride's side.The pictures will be posted when i have them with me.:) i did a speech and played the piano. 2 numbers which were, Getaran Jiwa and Close to you. Something both i have been playing for quite some time but was still nervous cause i dint get to practice a few days before the reception.:/ but without a doubt i still played quite melodiously.:D The speech goes;

Throughout the growing years i'm going through, i could never really understand what love means.But today, during the akad nikah, i witnessed something so beautiful,it was pure.it was true.i saw it in my father's eyes when he spoke to my sister.i saw it in abg luqman's eyes when he teared and i saw it in my sister's eyes when she cried after being so overwhelmed.it was when i felt a burden in my heart that i realized love simply cannot be defined.It works in the most beautiful ways to get to your heart.thats what makes it so special.thats what makes it so unique.And i hope the spark in their eyes, kak akmar n abang luqman will shine forever. and kakak,don't forget to come back home.im gonna miss ya.thank you.:D

What happened recently?

Friday a.k.a 29/5/09

1.Happy teachers day to SMKDU Teachers!

it was nice.we had our performance finally.so nervous.

everybody did their performance well but Jai Ho had an encore.

2.Malam Berinai Kak Akmar

it was in the whole; very nice.

Kak akmar looked gorgeous in her baby blue baju songket.

we all got our hands decorated from Shamani.:)

untitled

This unfufilled feeling of wanting to give you more is something i am always having.

though i realise you are happy enough already

.My generosity to spread more love is truely because that i am experiencing so much happiness right now.

To become your saviour in all you nightmares.

To be the light in the times of your darkness.

To be the shoulders you cry on.

To be the person who fill up the flaws in your life.

To be the pillar to support you and the strength that holds you stable.

To be the place you go to,

your sanctuary when you need someone to lend an ear , i will listen.

*and try my best to remember*.:p

All because, i want to see you glowing right from the inside.

Then, and only then would we be the same.:)

The day

Fortunately, i find myself to be a more grateful person towards her surroundings.grateful that i am where i am, who i am... who i'm with. the significant people who are always with me , if not physically then in mind. and in heart.(: the things i do , where i do and for who i do it shows most of who i am.in sense of personality and characteristics. i believe that everybody has flaws. and my flaws aren't so pretty either but the people who care about me makes me feel perfect in every sense of the word.Not because of me but because of their presence in my life. And if not for their existence i wouldn't be who i am right now. And for that i thank god i have these people in my life. Making my life more significant and with meaning. Even though the realization of how cruel and sadistic life can be, with them by my side i feel inner strength expanding day by day in me. They know who they are. And to that special someone in my heart ; Happy third month anniversary. For some reason i find this month very important to me as well. and i love you and i can't wait to see you.:) and trust me everybody; i am happy.:D





Love,
A'skiah.

Tyro a.k.a Noob .:p

hello again.:)
My exam today was not that bad.i am quite worried for tomorrow though.maths 2 and english. i sucked my accounts yesterday.macam tut tut semua tak imbang.odhiwiodhwiodhowdbhw! urgh~ and umm..well thats it.oh, and i've been thinking alot of edi.all the time.i mean.. all the time. mcm tak stop.i cant stop thinking about him ,its driving me crazy.xO hahah,i love you shayang! you make my heart skip so many beats.:p cant wait to see you and hug you till your eyes pop! <3





*2 more days!




love,
farawr

Mistified much? pfft.

Good morning my love and lovettes.
This is me posting from my brothers new room downstairs.since he is eating breakfast might as well i steal some precious time to give you a quick update.(: I'll have you know that i have moved house.not that far from my old house but it's definitely nice because i finally have a room and a room i can be proud of i must add.the desk i had two days ago just pefected my room.for those who knw me best, you all know how much i like my stuffs to match.:D besides that,theres exams.whooo....very very sucky unfortunately.;/ esp the one i recently had - Maths 1 and Sej 2. urgh...don't even get me started with those two subjects.its getting me vexed already early in the morning.:O anyway..yesterday; on the 16th of May 2009 , we had a family + friends gathering at home to discuss of my 2nd sister's wedding and so on and so forth.met a few individuals i haven't seen in a very long time like uncle Zek's family, Sherenne, Yasmin , Amy and Rafiq.:) After a while of melayaning people, they slowly went back in groups between 9-10 pm.after that. we initially planned a bacholerrete party for Nur Zainatul Akmar at Mist.after a few conflicts that plan was succesful to go off.and so akmar, halimah , amy, yasmin and me went there.and personally for me,clubbing is a tangy bit too overrated.but i did shake my ass nonetheless.and it would've been nicer if i had my partner in crime with me.<3 color="#ff0000">accounts 2 and agama 1 tomorrow so wish me best of luck.will update when wireless is in my room.:)


much love;
Fara

New*

finally,after some prolonged engagements and shattered hopes, we finally got to move to a house.though its nt in ttdi,(and i must say, i am fairly dissapointed) , i'm just glad we're getting out from this dustball-like apartment.=.= and its a house near fawwaz's.and im moving tmrw at precisely 2 o clock, the lorry man and his fellow spartanian like workers,*pfft* , will come pick our thingy majiggys and fling them one by one in their respected places.:)) I will be having breakfast with brother nevin, a-tangy-bit-far neighbour fawwaz, and boyfie edi tmrw morning.somewhere at ss2. now.stomach full of gastric juice, body aching and mind utterly restless and out-of-place,i am finally going to call it a night. :D i love you people. mwah lovers.

ugly duckling

Yeah; thats what he bought.

Its sooo jisoshaohqsl~ :)

Just because the fact that HE bought it for ME.:DD

Anyway..the house is pretty much a shit load of a mess.O:

but two more days and we'll be moving.i dont know why my sisters are all complaining.

heck,i am SO glad and thankful we're FINALLY moving.

I am purely ecstatic about it.

a nice spot at ttdi .close to lovers and places.:)

not so sure if we'll re-move after that cause for now its rent.

but wtheck right,i'm just glad we're getting out from the apartment.

not exactly great,fond memories were here.

but i'm thankful we even had a place to stay at that time.

at that time..we're better of now.:)

happy.

updates

IN:

1. moving house soon.. whoop de dhoo.:/
2. signed up for spelling competition but not sure if my school got enlisted.i had to do all the joob with the help of,thankfully fake sister najwa basir.(:
3. i feel like a fat pig.
4. i miss benjamin andrew micheal.
5. stressed out!

OUT.

And He said;

'Hmm...what am i gonna do without u.'

And i took a moment off my time to pack and think of that situation.. Later that night, i broke down.There was only too much i can take.i admit i have been feeling quite stressful indeed and apparently you were there when i broke down.And i'm thankful for that.i like where i end up in the end. and i don't care how imperfect the past may be for me.because it brought me here.to you. and though i may not know what will happen later, i know whats happening now.and i appreciate every moment i have with you.thank you angel; i love you.(:

Explosion of Mind*

Something only you'll understand.

Expanding , desperately needing T.L.C and to be attended to for this imaginery swollen head of mine. Note; too much thinking causes pimple growth to increase abruptly. Frowns,this 'not-in-a-good-mood' facial expression, sudden disturbing quietness and vexingly melancholic tone of voice i have suddenly been introduced and accustomed to. This is something i've been wearing these past few days and trust me, it ain't pretty. These voices raging and shrilling in my mind like a furious debate in my head. Its times like these that even piano notes don't help. Desperately wanting, needing my source of happiness.my problem solver.my frown disposer.;/ needing to de-stress..just for a little while.i promise i'll focus again later. i...need to see you sayang.:(

Remind me again

1. why i am in love with you.
2. why i should be studying instead of writing this pointless stuff.:/

..................................

haha,okay im out to study sejarah. i love you zunaidi alias.:)

Survey on Dresses.

I know i know, i can't help it. after finishing my homework i thought of surveying on dresses.mainly on prom dresses of course.(; it's getting me all excited.:D hahahaa...(padahal SPM pon tak habis lagi.-.-)

ANYWAY;

These are the results!

for Prom Dresses*

For Work*

*drooling*

If only.....

Hey, i'm allowed to have dreams no?;DDD

Oh oh, anddd..

After SPM*angkat kening*

Today Yesterday and Tomorrow;

Hello;

i know its been a while.but basically i can come up with a conclusion that nothing much excited happened.though i must say,last week,i went out after my accounts tuition to see bf and went for a movie and bought some stuff for friends.:)) What movie did i watch? ooohooo, my 3rd boyfriend , vin diesel.yeahaa,thats right. i watched fast and furious 4.awesome gilaa.8)) hahaa....i really gotta know more about cars..and roads for that matter.heh.-.- anyway...tomoorrow gonna have science slideshow...i don't feel like i have been studying though... i hate it..i do...but mcm homework pon tak sempat habis.balik rumah habiskan hw.:/ hmmm...i gotta buck up...saturday ada larian smkdu.dont know if i'll be running or not yet.haven't decided.and theres BJ's Sports day this coming sunday.might go.dont know yet..much love lovers.<3

osculation-act of kissing

how is it possible

a picture ; just a figure smiling at you

can make you warm inside.

how is it possible

the imperfection we choose to ignore

through screaming conscienceness

i still love you

and this feeling

like a balloon expanding inside me

it explodes ; overflowing

and all i feel like doing is osculating with you.(;

again and again.

earth hour and etc

it was boring..really,it was.earth hour i mean.i thought everybody would be hyped out about it.but not many people switched off their lights.and umm...yesterday was kakak akmar's birthday.happy birthday kakima! :D 24 and she'll be married in 2 months.i'll be playing the piano. *angkat kening* hooo yeah.;D and umm...oh i chose her birthday cake.it was sooo cute.:D strawbery masam manis but they had the vanilla whip cream for that.(; and and...schoool.yes.it was okay.not so bad.accounts getting confusing.:/ haih.and i got 4th place in class.which is really not much of a big deal really.but yeah.OH,yes, and....i love zunaidi bin alias.:) mwah mwah shayaang.xD hee.and im missing benjamin andrew micheal alot.went to miri tak cerita pon. laterr...

lightning+thunder+rain+you= perfect day

its this feeling from my gut i feel whenever i think of you.and today when i hung out with my babyboy..and pictures were taken.it felt pretty and true.(: sighh...i still miss him.anyway...today got more results frm the last exam.agama 53..=.= tak fail,whoo!xD anddd,i had my english presentation.it was on one of the themes of the pearl.greed.i got full marks.:))) its all good.hahah,and alwi was being such a brat jumping all over and hitting my head and any possible places he could reach.:/ shar did sphagetti when the boys left for a party.i was there till 930 plus kot.mama n papa went to eat first.i actually dozed off for an hour.O; ssoooo yeah.tmrw earth day evrybody! go grreeen!:D lepaking at B2's place.hope you lovers had a fine and dandy day.cause i did.(:


love youuu<3

i miss my munchkin.(:

yes,Zunaidi Alias.fortunately i meant you.;p well,today was quite all over the place.ariff is soo annoying in class.-.- and Pn chong (my accounts teacher) said alot of funny things today.ahhaah.instead of jalan buntu she said jalan buntut.Hahaha.and this is the highlight of the day.Brendon Khoo said " but teacher i like you tick better". and pn chong said.." okay next time i'll give you a big tit" HAHAHHHAH.aiyooo,her pronounciation i tell you..i swear she was soo very obscene.;O heh...so after school,was suppose to have bm class with the school teacher and when i went up to the bilik guru she said tuition is cancelled because she got meeting..-.- urgh...back at home.i was determined to do some work for my arts project.but now i don't feel so well.feeling very warm inside...yes people, still not well yet.:/ soo anyway.gonna go rest.oooh,and im getting my check tmrw.8) HOO YEAHH..



LOVE!

Discriminated.

You know,this is abruptly unusual as i don't usually get these sort of marks.very very seldom.actually, the only time i didn't pass for an A in English was when i was in form 2.I find it not only insulting but depressing and frustrating all at the same time.My facial expression tells it all when i got the paper and when She was trying to explain for the loss of my marks.... but then again, she has always been criticising me since she first taught the class this year.there was always something she wanted to pick on when i must say my essay wasn't so bad at all.ihjdroedhiowhdiowdh! fishsticks!!!!! urgh..i hate it that i'm like this.i know i shouldnt be like this if im gonna be a journalist.criticism is going to be something i have to be normal with. i shall redeem myself.that is my mission for midterm.much love. ;/

Them.

them that i haven't seen in a REALLY long time.and i mean literally! :/

My artificial brothers - Arie ; Nevin

(still) Long lost bestfriend benjamin andrew micheal; And the oh so loved Kalsom Alias :D

i love you guys alot! :D

Now! updates! i got my results for my first term exam.not much to boast.still alot of subjects under way.but i got accounts..and ,,, i got 83! odwiodhwodnwodhw~ O;

though i knw its just first term; i'll try my best to get the same marks for midterm.:))

maths tak fail.hahahhaa.but dpt 50 something i think.an improvement i guess.-.-

andd.....i feel very appreciative of the people around me nowadays.thank you those close ones.you knw who you are.:) i love you.and im excited about earth hour.everybody its this SATURDAY at 8.30! INGT! tutup everything! :D hahahha!

mwah

much love,lovers.<3