today I

read the newspaper.Yes, ladies and gents.there is more to it,i was reading a malay newspaper.which is odd for people who knws me.cause i dont read the paper much except for the cool 'Star Two's' and 'Metro's' with the comic section in it.xD and thats when i saw the news.on the front page of berita mingguan.about the PBB school was bombed by the Zionis. its a school.a refuge for these children and old people..innocent lives are taken away by force each and every single day.And for a fact it is not even their land to take.and what shocked me the most was that no country near was an ally to the Palestinians..i feel helpless that theres nothing i could really do. these poor palestinians.i thank god for the people who are doing something about it.People are killing each other.I realise that we humans have a good side in us.and its great.But we also have a dark side..and its so very ugly.sigh..i shall pray for them.besides that.what was in the newspaper a few pages after was something i found interestingly amusing.it says there that 'RAMAI REMAJA KINI PUJA SYAITAN'.. MUAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA .xD whoop de dhoo...crazy people nowadays. till then lovers. <3

Deeper Thoughts; by A'skiah

These love songs,

they tease me,

With such brutal honesty

And these piano notes

they slash me

and im bleeding endlessly

They remind me of the mistakes i've done long

since i jumped

through the fences guarding me

from the world ; all the time

oh how insistent they can be

to show me of my crude imperfections

which i wish myself not to see.

blinded by what could divert my

eyes to something pretty

Petty

All i wanted was to be happy

Do we end up happy?

We'll see.

Because these tides just seems to be never-ending for me.

sacrificial

Will i ever learn now?
denying,cheating,leaving myself
alone in the darkest corners of my mind.

Will i ever know now?
Of what was layed out infront of me
to know which one was real and which is not.

Will i ever realise?
of what i had or what i could've had
opportunities have always knocked on my door.

I never answer..
i take a peek
but i never answer.

i may think i've finally learned my lesson
but never will i get out of where i am now
not anytime soon anyway

Selfish
yes,truly
but i'd rather be cruel to be kind
The furious wind will understand at one point.

and the rainbows will appear
and the darkest clouds will hunt for its next prey
to drown somebody elses life.

and stir someones soul
But not yours.
and not mine anymore..

You were the sun that burned my face..
don't you forget that.

i need a tune up

playing piano hasn't been easy for me now.i don't know why but i've seem to have lost my touch.its disturbing really.:/ no song has story now.its empty with no emotion.i gotta make sure i practice right.before performing for kakak's wedding.O: oh..and due to those uncontrollable teenage hormones i seem to have sensitive scalp now which resulted to my new haircut so tht i wont have heavy hair.i dont know if i should be excited or not.cause now its shorter again.:S
other than that its all whoop de doo.now you see me; now you dont. signing outttt lovers. <3

11/1/09

okay...days seem to go by slower now.im starting to think alot again.which i hate to do btw. i repeat i hate thinking things im not suppose to be thinking.O: yep,i'm back.to where i started.bt this time i lost something tht actually made me happy in a while.and i could've worked things out.i was actually considering till i read it.but its okay.i respect his decision fully and i know its my fault.and it has never been fair for him.i just hope he'll be okay soon.because he deserves someone that could give him a proper answer.(:

hmmm,aight.updates; my enemy at school,*HAHA*.has been trying to be nice to me.in a way,i think he apologized.but very quickly i must add.and im the secretary fr rumah merah this year.8D mcm arie kan kan kan? ;p i've got a cousin who's married now.Kak mas.i can't find a word for how she looks cause she was just sooo remarkably pretty.and the guy looks aight anyway.(: saw alot of granduncles n aunts.saw the long-lost cousin yana and family.:D and thats that.

till the next time i online then; much love

-

i simply cannot lose you bestfriend.despite the situation.i just can't.and its because i love you.its as simple as tht.i just need things to be okay.

FORM 5

starts this monday.and i can't online anymore.i'll try to hold on as long as i can at least. psyched much? Maybe..not really.HAHA.my head is screaming SPM SPM SPM SPM ! DIE DIE DIE!!

_ _ _ _ _

always;

there should be something that would end up making me think critically.

what is the point of all that you said..

i dont know what you want.

you should tell me.

or maybe threw a sign on my face when you had the chance.

because now that im moving forward...

i simply cannot rewind.

i'm sorry.

KUALA GANDAH = AWESOME BLOSSOM

okay i knw i suck at this but i really wanna post it up so...SORRY.xD

HAHA.so there you have it.

Kuala Gandah; Elephant Sanctuary

Placed in Pahang.

A great experience.

One i'd enjoyed quite thoroughly.:)

2009

Well wadya knw.its 2009.happy new year ladies and gentlemen!

hmph..speechless..

new years eve was a mixture of indescribability.

and yet i had more than one person to talk to. that felt good.:)

to be heard and hear people.

they make me feel like im not the only one.and its okay.

It'll be fine.i promise..