Time waits for no man. There is 24 hours in a day. Different people do different things within this period of time. people get married, celebrate an occasion, doing chores, studying for finals, mourning for a loss, get sick, get pregnant. The list is endless.
To me, for the past week, time never seemed enough.
168 hours of my life have been taken to show me the dark side of liberty. The liberty from the mind, from religion, from sanity. The negative outcomes from negative decisions made from your own rational mind.
These said hours have also taught me about trust. How you trust your own instincts and beliefs, how you trust your friends, how you trust people in general. This week has got me succumbed to so many lessons in life i should value that i am overwhelmed by its presence.
It has taught me life, it has taught me to appreciate goodness, it has taught me to see reality.
And people.... it's not pretty.
Maybe it is to show me, the ridiculousness of my goal of experimenting everything at this age.
Alhamdulilah and InsyaAllah He will always be there to 'sober' me out to the truth.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Congratulations,
your accumulated actions indirect or not, have resulted to the very opposite of what you've been wanting to achieve. i now. officially. hate you.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
21
This year has been said by many to be a year of great significance. Many before me have shared with me their experiences of being 21 years of age and have pictured it to me to be of crazy parties, awesome adventures, travelling,etc. It is considered to be as an age of freedom, an age of supposed maturity. The climax of young adulthood. Being an observer of 3 older, different individuals, i have seen accounts of incidents and experiences from my siblings i have found to be useful and grateful to learn from. From this, i have successfully been able to watch over my steps and learn from their mistakes. Their mistakes to me, were that, they got caught.
And yes, i might as well admit, there is very much more to me than meets the eye. My hands have been occasionally covered in dirt. But the more i did it because i thought it was what i was supposed to do as a young adult, the more i feel it was never necessary to try in the first place. I have so many things to be grateful for, and that includes the fact that i'm still breathing while i'm typing this. My life is so consumed by the needs of me to fulfill and conform to the typical phase of society that i don't realize how they can only give me this temporal, limited, form of happiness. At one point i was in so much fear of being lost off track. I am so grateful i can still find my way back. I will always want something more. It is of human nature. But consuming it from something that will corrupt you will never be satisfying enough.
I have been lost and found and lost again once more. and i will and always try to find myself at a place where i truly belong. I have immersed myself time and time again in depths of sin and even when i try to console myself that this is who i am, deep inside, i know it's not.I am not under any specific category. My identity will always be in conflict between what i want and what i need instead but until the last breath that i draw, i will keep trying. that is a promise that i will make for myself. A promise i know i will surely keep.
And yes, i might as well admit, there is very much more to me than meets the eye. My hands have been occasionally covered in dirt. But the more i did it because i thought it was what i was supposed to do as a young adult, the more i feel it was never necessary to try in the first place. I have so many things to be grateful for, and that includes the fact that i'm still breathing while i'm typing this. My life is so consumed by the needs of me to fulfill and conform to the typical phase of society that i don't realize how they can only give me this temporal, limited, form of happiness. At one point i was in so much fear of being lost off track. I am so grateful i can still find my way back. I will always want something more. It is of human nature. But consuming it from something that will corrupt you will never be satisfying enough.
I have been lost and found and lost again once more. and i will and always try to find myself at a place where i truly belong. I have immersed myself time and time again in depths of sin and even when i try to console myself that this is who i am, deep inside, i know it's not.I am not under any specific category. My identity will always be in conflict between what i want and what i need instead but until the last breath that i draw, i will keep trying. that is a promise that i will make for myself. A promise i know i will surely keep.
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