Memories in my eyes/last day of 2008

its getting closer to a year of groundation(:O) tht i promised myself.sucks yeah but i need to start focusing.hopefully mine stops till this sunday.last dose before i start school.In a nutshell,i find 2008 to be very empty.quite a number of dissapointments.and i had a really bad drama at the starting of the year.but im gonna let tht simmer away.what i planned early this year dint happen.but i guess it doesnt matter now tht im gonna be form 5 soon and sitting for my spm.lately,despite the fact that i've pushed and was pushed by the people i've been involved with,i still feel like crap.in more than one ways.and i thought it was gonna make things all better.easier.smoother...hmm...anyway.on monday.i went to kuala gandah.with abg luqman kak akmar lorraine kak nurul and abg reza.:) had bad service but it was pretty nice.the whole thing.saw,fed,touched,ride,got thrown down,bathed by those elephants.hahah! it was nice jugak la.will post picture later.everybody liked it in the end.:)) i dont feel like i went away much for this holidays.but its okay.after spm i'll have time.have fun today everybody and have a happy new year.much love.<3

The Irony

How can i lose something

when it was never mine to start with? ..

i feel soo cheated..

Just, thank god you're important in my life.

midnightmoth

i dont want to wait 'till i've lost you to realise how much you mean to me..

This Years Love

Is it that hard to get those nowadays?Or is this some sort of punishment for whatever i've done?

It's not like i find pleasure in being depressed for gods sakes.I just want to feel something that at least i would think is real.Not something artificial.Nowadays,my perspective about relationships have changed tremendously.I know i shouldn't judge.but i just can't help it sometimes...sigh; so down tonight..it sucks alot.oh..updates? since sunday baked cookies like no ones business.so tired and nt much sleep but out of all of tht got rm 100.so bole la kot.:)) other than that helped my bby wa with her prjct = painting her room. which btw i dnt think i did much help.:/ andd andd.went out to curve.saw mais,zhaf, Nazatul & & & bby ya! missed her ALOT! and watched movie with edi.saw zaine.went back home. TA DAA.whopp de dhoo.-.- im out,much love.

sigh.

sometimes i wonder if this is what i really want.
but then again,i wouldnt want to lose a chance to be with you.
and im trying to hold on to these reins.how long i wouldnt know.
it seems my 'trying' really isn't good enough.it never is.

and i've been waiting for someone to make me feel that feeling again.
that 'over-the-top-head-over-heals-im-crazy-over-you' type of love.
and im not getting it.

i just dont get it anymore..

so many stories,so little time

It honestly feels different.everything.all of it.like a wall is between us now.yeah,sure we talk.and i'll always love her.but i get the fact now.and i'll be sure to keep a distance next time.besides that awkward situation i feel that i must start to study now.and i wont be onlining anymore.for quite some time.i hope i'll still have contact with everybody though.Also, i pity him sometimes.i know i shouldnt be.but i guess it would suck to be in his position.but i cant force myself to do something.nor can i put an effort.that would make it artificial either way.and me.i think i can understand why this is happening.and i know what he wants to see out of this.i just hope it doesnt take so much time to sink in..because i just might sink out of it.knowing how i am.:/ oh,and work was awesome in the whole.it felt so good to spend my money.xD and i miss the guys and girls there.they rock.<3

LOVE LOVERS.