what if

i woke up abruptly with my heart feeling its heaviest.
the dream made me wish it happened.
whatever it was,i didn't want to regret trying..

the dream goes;
i woke up with a torn typed sheet saying "thank you,i love you"
below was a list of things we did last night.

he came when i was asleep.
he lied beside me,whispered he couldnt stand it.he just had to come.

he wrote
that i was frowning in my sleep,he tried to kiss them away.
looking at me,he couldnt help to tear,
but i actually caught those two droplets.
i took him in my arms and told him i wanted him just as much.
we were both crying silently till we fell asleep.

before you went away,
you kissed me goodbye.
it was the first and the last.
he said it was the most painful one for him.

It was a risk we both knew.
there was alot of 'what ifs' and 'buts' and 'what will happen later'.
we knew.

at least we knew we tried.
it felt good.in a long time.

i hope this uncomfortable feeling will fade away as fast as it came for both of us.