I hate the feeling of sundays nowadays..
of having to come back.
of having to let go.
of having to see the car drive away from me.
When i get ready to go, and when i start getting into the car,i keep quiet.As if counting the minutes, appreciating the last hundreds of seconds left for me. and my heart feels left behind when i open the car door when i arrive.
im practicing to always look infront or at the stairs where i'm walking instead of the car but i always end up respirating hard. and my hearts thumps wildly against my chest; as if rebelling. and i end up feeling a burden in my chest..gritting my teeth and holding myself from tearing.
It's so hard. and it's been happening every week. i really really want this to stop.. or i dont think i can bear coming back home every week. its such a difficult process to bear in the end. i miss everybody. everytimee.....
and i didnt even get to see edi this weekend. this is gonna be a tough one..
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