Inalillahiwainalillahirajiun

My grandmother, passed away on the 24th of april 2011.
Her heart stopped beating at first. and in the most quzzical way; while she was brushing her teeth. the one habit of hers that she always used to nag at me to practice. when she was sent to the hospital. Allah took her soul away from her body.

for the first time in my life that day, i wasnt scared of a corpse. of seeing just a body with nobody in it to function. her lips were swollen because it was already quite some time by the time we could bathe her. she wanted to be buried in pd. i participated in most of the rituals. but for some reason i didnt cry as much as my cousin did. i'd have to admit i wasnt as close to her. and she wasnt so fond of me. but i've always found her to be a perfectionist. someone prim and proper. and even though she nags, and she talks to me behind my back. i'm still fond of her. because even through her talking, and nagging. she still remembers that i love bananas and bring them when she comes to kl. and still buys me things from wherever she travels. and i'm always gonna miss her laugh and the way she sits when she sits on a stool. and the matter of the fact that she has gastric. just like i do. and the fact that she brings practically her whole house in a bag. she has everything in that little bag of hers. from medicines to nail clippers to food and tidbits incase we get hungry and the most important thing she brings with her everywhere; minyak angin cap kapak. haha.

...i do; i love her. very much. and now that she's gone, i regret it so much that i never took the time to really know her. a typical naggy granny, but that's how she shows her love to her loved ones. she has a golden heart and travelling legs that loves to go everywhere. she was my only real grandmother left and i never took the opportunity to flourish our relationship. a lesson to be learned. always love and care. you'll never know whens the last time you'll see the person. the bond between famillies is so important but is often neglected now in this millenium. a sad fact as it is the base in our lives. i will always love her. for nagging at me. i understand now. i love you pah. i'll send my al-fatihah's to you. in hope it will shed some light to you and lighten your burden on the other side. thank you. assalamualaikum.