17 candles...... whoop de dhoo..

selamat hari raya maaf zahir & batin to any of you who are actually reading. I'm posting this from kajang, cousin's house.Amidst colourful clothes and assorted cookies, amidst families and friends colliding, i feel an emptiness in the darkest corners of my heart. A feeling i tried to push to the back of my head last night. 1st day of raya, and papa didnt celebrate with us... syukur alhamdulilah, i got to kiss his hands and beraya with him that morning though. but the sad part was, that he forgot my birthday. he did.and mom had to give him a hint.i feel like going out tonight.both my birthday and raya wasn't exactly how i imagined it would be...abruptly, i feel...alone.