i finally got a job. and the best parts of it is the privilleges that comes with it. i'll be working at DARC soon. its suppose to be something like eagle ranch.its near my hse.at denai alam.and so im supposed to be handling the PR stuff there.and the boss there,Terry says that since im working here.i can train with the horses for free.:)))))))))))x1000000
hooohoo! and they're otw to making a gym there and i can use that too.so how unbelievably awesome is that?? :D
i feel like im wearing the coolest kicks in town right now.:p
soo yeah.am at pd.taking my p card and will be otw back home.
peace lovers.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Appreciation
Recently i could say i am quite lucky. i am. and i am utmostly grateful to Allah for blessing me with good news;
.I got fairly good grades. i'm still proud that i didnt fail anything.
.I passed my JPJ test! YESS! :D ohh alhamdulilah. such a relief i tell you. it was soo nerve wrecking because i was so worried about my bukit.i shit you not, i peed about 5 times and went to the toilet about 3 times before i did my exam.>.<>
.and recently,i saw ayahlang. He gave me money to buy me a new phone.for my results for spm. thanks to papa's talking. I desperately needed a new phone actually. abangs phone was not exactly in good shape and i dont blame it all on the phone.i knw it was partly my fault fr dropping it a couple of times but still. i had to read text messages at the mirror because the fonts were terbalik. sheesh.
soo , yesterday,went out with edi.. talked and figured out what to buy. so after some thought and comparing, i bought this baby;
so ta ta da da! apparently edi said its like a mini psp.
its got cool games. its like wii too. hehe. he was the one who said i've got an i pod already so dont need all these phones tht specialised in music.which is correct.and i dont want to get a phone that i wouldnt exactly used the applications.like blackberryberry and all that.which for me personally,is more like for work.and so many people are using that nowadays.i dint wanna go with the trend.the one i dont really have was a camera.so this one has 5 megapixels and according to papa he said tht would pretty much suffice.so all in all. im very happy i got this.:)
.I got fairly good grades. i'm still proud that i didnt fail anything.
.I passed my JPJ test! YESS! :D ohh alhamdulilah. such a relief i tell you. it was soo nerve wrecking because i was so worried about my bukit.i shit you not, i peed about 5 times and went to the toilet about 3 times before i did my exam.>.<>
.and recently,i saw ayahlang. He gave me money to buy me a new phone.for my results for spm. thanks to papa's talking. I desperately needed a new phone actually. abangs phone was not exactly in good shape and i dont blame it all on the phone.i knw it was partly my fault fr dropping it a couple of times but still. i had to read text messages at the mirror because the fonts were terbalik. sheesh.
soo , yesterday,went out with edi.. talked and figured out what to buy. so after some thought and comparing, i bought this baby;
Sony ericsson Yari.
hehe. my 2nd phone that i got that was bought. others were pretty much passed down.but what the hey ey?;/ i always thought i'd buy a nokia the next time i buy a phone.They were the in thing that time. which unfortunately was a loooong time ago.they say xpress music wasnt so good.even though i wanted to get that actually.but takpelah.i'm very much satisified with my phone right now. it is also pretty much my most expensive. but given the fact that i only have two hps that were bought.im very much grateful that ayahlang gave the money fr me.i dont think i could afford one of these on my own.-.-
so ta ta da da! apparently edi said its like a mini psp.
its got cool games. its like wii too. hehe. he was the one who said i've got an i pod already so dont need all these phones tht specialised in music.which is correct.and i dont want to get a phone that i wouldnt exactly used the applications.like blackberryberry and all that.which for me personally,is more like for work.and so many people are using that nowadays.i dint wanna go with the trend.the one i dont really have was a camera.so this one has 5 megapixels and according to papa he said tht would pretty much suffice.so all in all. im very happy i got this.:)
Thursday, April 1, 2010
swan
Like the sunset,you dawn on me.
This feeling, overpowering,overtaking my senses.
I float amidst the haze of our memories, clouding over my mind.
this feeling is undefined.
and yet, compatible to yours.
you need to know i feel what you feel baby.
that it pains me and sometimes it even makes me cry.
but this feeling makes me feel so alive.
And being with you,in your arms is all i ask for.
Its becoming more dangerous when you are needed more and more.
But the warmth,the security; Do you know you bring out the best in me?
Your my star , no matter where you are.
And wherever i'll be, i know you're with me.
This feeling, overpowering,overtaking my senses.
I float amidst the haze of our memories, clouding over my mind.
this feeling is undefined.
and yet, compatible to yours.
you need to know i feel what you feel baby.
that it pains me and sometimes it even makes me cry.
but this feeling makes me feel so alive.
And being with you,in your arms is all i ask for.
Its becoming more dangerous when you are needed more and more.
But the warmth,the security; Do you know you bring out the best in me?
Your my star , no matter where you are.
And wherever i'll be, i know you're with me.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
One more try
Like a boat floating calmly amidst the vastness of the deep blue sea. I realise life has too many choices.directions for us to choose.And no one else can make them except you. you are alone in your own journey.it is in our hands as long as it can be fixed.
Thoughts;
-I miss him.very much.
-i need to finish this driving thing asap. i need to start working again and keep aside money.
for emergencies,credits,hangouts,shopping,presents,mama,holidays.
-i cant go out often anymore.or late...
since theres a baby in the house.
they're saying im not putting some sort of contribution.
-I need to ace that bukit.
-I need to practice driving more often.
-Im freakishly broke.
-I'm tired even though i woke up late today.
-I'm anxious about my application to uitm.
-I'm hoping and praying i'm taking the right direction by taking tesl at uitm.
-I need a job.i need money.
-I'm considering about working while studying to get some extra cash on the sidelines. i dont want to ask from mama.it's kind of sufferring to ask someone of something they can't usually give.i end up sounding like the heartless one,you knw wht i mean?
- i pray i get to do the jpj test successfully.i dont have money to pay if i fail.
-omgoodness im so obsessed with cash.=.=
later la you guys.ish
Thoughts;
-I miss him.very much.
-i need to finish this driving thing asap. i need to start working again and keep aside money.
for emergencies,credits,hangouts,shopping,presents,mama,holidays.
-i cant go out often anymore.or late...
since theres a baby in the house.
they're saying im not putting some sort of contribution.
-I need to ace that bukit.
-I need to practice driving more often.
-Im freakishly broke.
-I'm tired even though i woke up late today.
-I'm anxious about my application to uitm.
-I'm hoping and praying i'm taking the right direction by taking tesl at uitm.
-I need a job.i need money.
-I'm considering about working while studying to get some extra cash on the sidelines. i dont want to ask from mama.it's kind of sufferring to ask someone of something they can't usually give.i end up sounding like the heartless one,you knw wht i mean?
- i pray i get to do the jpj test successfully.i dont have money to pay if i fail.
-omgoodness im so obsessed with cash.=.=
later la you guys.ish
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
and then there was Adam Danial
and...i was so excited that i frgot to tell you what i got fr my spm results!
urgh...time nak pergi tu mcm tut tut gila. Abang was sooo not helping! he was like whispering in my ear spm spm spm. i was likee aaaaa .:/ anyway my fingers trembling, my heart pounding against my chest and after all tht cold sweat.i got 4 as 3 bs and 2 cs. i was so overwhelmed though,i kinda cried.for like 30 seconds, cause joy was overflowing through my veins. i really didnt expect to get 4 as. and i thought i'd get a fail. but syukur alhamdulilah. it's not bad.though it might not be alot bt im very grateful fr the results i got.:)) so anyway,driving class is tmrw. i gta stay at pd till sat. fri ada school trip so i gotta help. loves!
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Ohh my.
so as i lay on my bed in this humid room of mine in denai alam. i start to think of what i'm about to face very soon. spm results.
damnn.. crap. i thought i'd get all scared next week but now that it's on the 11th im forced to become scared and giddy.hish...so uncool.i stopped at pd already.with working and helping mama.but im coming down pd once in a while fr the driving lessons and tests and etc.
i misss bf even more nowadays.and esp miss najwa cause havent seen her in a while.i gues si'll be seieng my girls next week too.fr the spm results.mann..this is SOO uncool!!!!! xO
damnn.. crap. i thought i'd get all scared next week but now that it's on the 11th im forced to become scared and giddy.hish...so uncool.i stopped at pd already.with working and helping mama.but im coming down pd once in a while fr the driving lessons and tests and etc.
i misss bf even more nowadays.and esp miss najwa cause havent seen her in a while.i gues si'll be seieng my girls next week too.fr the spm results.mann..this is SOO uncool!!!!! xO
Sunday, February 21, 2010
the story
A smile never stops lingering from my lips when i start to think of you. And it's pretty funny how things started between us. I still remember;
2008
A call,A voice,A stranger.
My first impression quickly changed after he texted me one day.The act was a disliking to me, but his personality made me think otherwise, He was friendly, funny, and so easy to talk to. There was a hint of charm but it was always, always subtle. But i love the fact that he is a great listener. He gives pretty good advices too.
Soon though,i can't help to feel he had a liking for me but he kept giving me mixed signals and so, absent mindedly,i pushed it aside.
One day, he told me he had a gf. I was excited for him. but unfortunately , after some time, he would come to me and talk about their problems.As i would do for any friend, i became his shoulder to cry on. And soon,he started to confess his feelings towards me. I didn't believe him for it to be love. Not one bit. Because for the fact that we barely knew each other and i felt that he was at his weak point. A few days later, he broke off with that girl.And started to be closer to me. Thats when our friendship bloomed. He was nice. We would talk about anything and everything. We'd have like this mini dates to chat with each other in the day or night.It dawned on me one night and scared me that bit by bit, i wanted to please his heart; That i look forward to the conversations, to see him online , to look nice whenever we were webcamming. I didn't want to conjure up feeling but I must admit, i started to adore him; and he'd do the same.:)
There were so many moments,many exchanged glances, secretly staring and some not even chatting, just smiling... And only we would understand. My mum used to tease me, staring and smiling at the computer like a retard.haha. Fine fine,yeah,okay. i started to like him.But that doesn't mean i HAVE to tell him right? ;/
It felt good.basking in each others presence.He always makes me feel warm inside.:) Then suddenly,he asked to try going further.The question that usually ruins the moment because i would refuse all the time.Trying wasn't something i wanted to get involved in again anytime soon. Scars were yet to be healed.
But with persistence, he succesfully persuaded me into trying it. It'd feel nice...right untill i came to my senses...which was most of the time. It would hurt his feelings. And the more that it did, the more i would push away. We've tried and failed to launch so many times.Let's face it, we can't force love.And i couldn't bear seeing him bruised everytime by my own doings. so, i decided to stop trying and see other people. We did.... At least i did.But i had to learn it the awkward way that you can't turn your bestfriend into something he can't be. He couldn't be what you tried so hard to be. what you still tried.So i went back to you. This time,because i wanted to work things out. But as much as i tried, there was still this fear overpowering me.Like a shield i made for myself, hard and strong and wouldn't break into a million pieces and break me free unless i was sure.And though i can see my heart wants it, my mind was not convinced just yet.I still kept on hurting him and at the verge of really giving up, Something that he said changed everything.. That one thing that needed to complete the puzzle..Assurance. It all fitted like a perfect picture. The times he patiently waited and willing to wait some more even through suffering obstacles i kept throwing at him,those million and one excuses, they all crumbled down, and i caught him at the first chance i get. On that day, i silently vowed to show him that all those time waiting wouldn't go to waste.
2009
Boyfriend - a favourite male companion.
well that's true. Having him as mine and my own is indescribable. There are so many things to learn and know and i love taking my time to.because he is someone very unique to me.he is often undefined,judged. but if you could just see what i see in him,there would be so much more to love. like a diamond in the rough. and i love.be it the good or the bad.:)
Love- a profoundly tender, passionate affection towards another person.
so they say in the dictionary. To me, after those boys who tried and failed or have tried and succeeded or vice versa, i wonder if what they felt about me was love.Its a topic i often question on after i fell in love with edi.This journey we share together made me learn so many things. it opened my eyes to something even larger than the picture.For me, love can be defined in your own version but not many could understand and grasp its meaning. I feel the closest meaning to me would be you, baby. That's why i feel this particular relationship is extraordinary. totally different pattern of lives that collided. and i end up finding something more beautiful than both.:)
Relationship- a connection.
Our connection. 'We are one even though we are different, We are different even though we are one'. remember that honey? :) there are differences between us. and yet we would know the other. i love&hate the fact tht i am predictable to him.Our bond is stronger than others i had before and he would know why. i see changes in me. when he didn't ask me to.i realise it that i've grown to be more matured than i was.and i like that one of the reasons would be because of this relationship.
Bond- something that binds persons to a line of behaviour.
He is by far, the most sweetest,caring and understanding boyfriend i have ever had.he has been with me through the good, the bad, and the embarrasing. so many times. hahaha. *byy,shh!*:(
but i love him so much for that. the fact that he takes me for who i am.and he lets me be.
2010
is yet to be filled with more memories to come.and i hope for the very best for the both of us. i love you edi.:) with all of my heart.literally.
2008
A call,A voice,A stranger.
My first impression quickly changed after he texted me one day.The act was a disliking to me, but his personality made me think otherwise, He was friendly, funny, and so easy to talk to. There was a hint of charm but it was always, always subtle. But i love the fact that he is a great listener. He gives pretty good advices too.
Soon though,i can't help to feel he had a liking for me but he kept giving me mixed signals and so, absent mindedly,i pushed it aside.
One day, he told me he had a gf. I was excited for him. but unfortunately , after some time, he would come to me and talk about their problems.As i would do for any friend, i became his shoulder to cry on. And soon,he started to confess his feelings towards me. I didn't believe him for it to be love. Not one bit. Because for the fact that we barely knew each other and i felt that he was at his weak point. A few days later, he broke off with that girl.And started to be closer to me. Thats when our friendship bloomed. He was nice. We would talk about anything and everything. We'd have like this mini dates to chat with each other in the day or night.It dawned on me one night and scared me that bit by bit, i wanted to please his heart; That i look forward to the conversations, to see him online , to look nice whenever we were webcamming. I didn't want to conjure up feeling but I must admit, i started to adore him; and he'd do the same.:)
There were so many moments,many exchanged glances, secretly staring and some not even chatting, just smiling... And only we would understand. My mum used to tease me, staring and smiling at the computer like a retard.haha. Fine fine,yeah,okay. i started to like him.But that doesn't mean i HAVE to tell him right? ;/
It felt good.basking in each others presence.He always makes me feel warm inside.:) Then suddenly,he asked to try going further.The question that usually ruins the moment because i would refuse all the time.Trying wasn't something i wanted to get involved in again anytime soon. Scars were yet to be healed.
But with persistence, he succesfully persuaded me into trying it. It'd feel nice...right untill i came to my senses...which was most of the time. It would hurt his feelings. And the more that it did, the more i would push away. We've tried and failed to launch so many times.Let's face it, we can't force love.And i couldn't bear seeing him bruised everytime by my own doings. so, i decided to stop trying and see other people. We did.... At least i did.But i had to learn it the awkward way that you can't turn your bestfriend into something he can't be. He couldn't be what you tried so hard to be. what you still tried.So i went back to you. This time,because i wanted to work things out. But as much as i tried, there was still this fear overpowering me.Like a shield i made for myself, hard and strong and wouldn't break into a million pieces and break me free unless i was sure.And though i can see my heart wants it, my mind was not convinced just yet.I still kept on hurting him and at the verge of really giving up, Something that he said changed everything.. That one thing that needed to complete the puzzle..Assurance. It all fitted like a perfect picture. The times he patiently waited and willing to wait some more even through suffering obstacles i kept throwing at him,those million and one excuses, they all crumbled down, and i caught him at the first chance i get. On that day, i silently vowed to show him that all those time waiting wouldn't go to waste.
2009
Boyfriend - a favourite male companion.
well that's true. Having him as mine and my own is indescribable. There are so many things to learn and know and i love taking my time to.because he is someone very unique to me.he is often undefined,judged. but if you could just see what i see in him,there would be so much more to love. like a diamond in the rough. and i love.be it the good or the bad.:)
Love- a profoundly tender, passionate affection towards another person.
so they say in the dictionary. To me, after those boys who tried and failed or have tried and succeeded or vice versa, i wonder if what they felt about me was love.Its a topic i often question on after i fell in love with edi.This journey we share together made me learn so many things. it opened my eyes to something even larger than the picture.For me, love can be defined in your own version but not many could understand and grasp its meaning. I feel the closest meaning to me would be you, baby. That's why i feel this particular relationship is extraordinary. totally different pattern of lives that collided. and i end up finding something more beautiful than both.:)
Relationship- a connection.
Our connection. 'We are one even though we are different, We are different even though we are one'. remember that honey? :) there are differences between us. and yet we would know the other. i love&hate the fact tht i am predictable to him.Our bond is stronger than others i had before and he would know why. i see changes in me. when he didn't ask me to.i realise it that i've grown to be more matured than i was.and i like that one of the reasons would be because of this relationship.
Bond- something that binds persons to a line of behaviour.
He is by far, the most sweetest,caring and understanding boyfriend i have ever had.he has been with me through the good, the bad, and the embarrasing. so many times. hahaha. *byy,shh!*:(
but i love him so much for that. the fact that he takes me for who i am.and he lets me be.
2010
is yet to be filled with more memories to come.and i hope for the very best for the both of us. i love you edi.:) with all of my heart.literally.
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